when you wish upon a star;

This weblog does not represent the thoughts, intentions, plans or strategies of anyone else.
It is solely my opinion.
Feel free to challenge me, disagree with me, or tell me I’m completely nuts in the comments section of each blog entry or my chat box, but I reserve the right to delete any comment or ban any person for any reason whatsoever (abusive, profane, rude, or anonymous comments) - so keep it polite, please.
Just in case.
If I say something stupid in the future, it’s better to be able to point out that the stupidity is mine, and mine alone.
My stupidity! You can’t have it! :)

Note: I do not take credit for the pictures i post unless i stamp my blogspot on it, thank you.

Cries.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009,10:32 PM

First and foremost, Happy Birthday to Queenie! xoxo. ( Sorry for no birthday cake pics, internet darn slow. )

Just wana say that no, to your disappointment, i'm not dead yet. Just really busy with stuffs these days i.e. exam, homework as you know. I was really surprised when i knew that there's some people out there actually waiting for me to blog, waiting for me to update. Was kinda cheered up by the idea, didn't thought anyone would bother. Thanks. (:

Even though i've got some updates to make, but not today i suppose, because i'm on my way to brush my teeth and wash my face and study and sleep. =P My deepest apologies, just that i'm really darn tired and the internet is frickin' slow. After this post i shall disappear for a few more days i guess. And if you hadn't realize this yet, you can always follow me on Twitter ( At 'Scream or escape?' right above my chat box, FYI. ). I'll use Twitter more frequent than blogging this month. ;D

-----

My heart hurts, head hurts, eyes hurts.
It's eating up every part of me.
Worth, or not worth?

0 comments.

Perfection.

Saturday, September 26, 2009,11:59 AM

Hello peeps! The bitch is back, for just a moment. I'm gona update some stuffs before i forgot about the details. I didn't use the computer just for fun okay, i need the computer to do my civic project, and since i'm using the comp anyway, i might as well blog. =D

I'm gona update about some outings. Actually, just one outing. Not like i got much time to go out when my schedule is packed full like shit, and i don't even have enough time. ( Feck, okay, skip that part, it's making me guilty. )

@ The Mines.
The Bitches and Bastards: Me, dear, Ling, Ojk, DingXiang, LiWei. ( Yeah, well, just the few of us. )
Everyone reached at 11.30, i'm the latest, due to mum's countless tasks she had to do before she can start the car engine. Anyway, after 'blowing' her for minutes, she finally got her ass on the driver seat and dropped me off at The Mines.

Everyone was at the arcade. And guess what? We're all wearing stripes! Everyone except DingXiang. The uncooperative bastard. ( To DX: If you're reading this, i can imagine your face now. Roflmao. ) I'm wearing PDI black and white stripes, Dear's wearing black and grey stripes, Ling's wearing yellow and white stripes, Ojk's wearing black and pink stripes, LiWei's jacket is black and grey stripes. It was darn amazing. I swear, we didn't planned it beforehand! (:

Then we walked walked walked, debated about where to go, and then went to buy movie tickets.

Tsunami, that's what we chose to watch. Well, because we didn't have many choices at all. Most of the movies are 18PL, and me and Dx couldn't pass for sure if they're checking seriously. Roflmao. Finally i'd got someone to join me in the 'short-and-look-like-a-kid-and-can't-pass-for-18-PL-movie' club. ;D

They were really...hilarious? They chose a 18PL movie at first and they asked the person 'Bawah 18 boleh tengok?' I was like, LOL. But they bought Tsunami anyway, it's PG13. Even if i don't pass, i have my secret weapon -- Ta-da! My IC. =) Dx didn't even bring his IC. Was worried that he can't pass. ( He did pass after all. )

After buying the tickets we went for Sushi King. There's still time before the movie and dear's really hungry and he says he wana treat us and it's sushi so why not? ;D I have no idea why, but when we went inside every single soul was starring at us. Wtf, can't they just eat their meal properly? =( Anyway, here's finally some pictures. ( I know you'd been bored reading the words, but i wrote it for myself, so that i could remember next time. =D )

Yikes, DingXiang is so darn cute! I had a few more pics of him actually. It's really easy to capture him looking at the camera. He's a narcissist at heart! Hah. =P

Sushi! Macro shot. Looks yummy. Tasted...no idea. I didn't eat it.

Flying fish roe? Salmon roe? No idea what's it called. Anyway, Dx was really fascinated with the fish roe ( the orange bead-like thingy ). He kept poking it, and then eyes shining, said: Yer, 你看，会爆的！Roflmao. Acting as if he hadn't eat sushi before, and therefore labeled unceremoniously by Ojk -- 原住民 ( Aboriginal, aka Orang Asli. )

More sushi! Looked yummy.

Me and Ling at the toilet. Love the designs. =)

DingXiang wearing LiWei's jacket. He was desperate to see how he look like, and he was searching for a mirror. I offered my camera, told him i'll take the pic, let him see it and delete it. But then, only an idiot will delete this. So darn kawaii. ;D

After eating we went for Tsunami. The movie was... devastating. It was kinda boring at first, what with them speaking korean and all, but when the long-awaited Tsunami came, it was, OhMyGod. Terrifying. First time seeing a tsunami --never mind it being fake-- up close and argh! The way those people die was cruel. Darn cruel. Not bad. Recommended. (:

Then the guys went for bowling.

Me and Ling sneaked outside and went shopping! Felt like we're doing something wrong, kept looking behind our backs like they're gona come and haul us back to the bowling place something. =X Shopped for presents. Not gona say whose. Saving it for surprises. (:

After shopping Ling and I dutifully went back to find the guys and camwhored. That's what girls do. =p

Then it's nearing time to go home, so we went to The Heritage heading over to Gasoline to have a quick meal. Was so windy over there, and the view's great!

The Heritage view of the lake. Love it.

Sexy back. Ling's. =D

Love the lake so damn much. The reflection of the sky on the water, the light breeze, plus the water is really clear. Feck, wana live here. =X

Mansion across the lake. ( Okay, half mansion. Oh alright, quarter mansion. )

Photo courtesy of Ling. In fact, i swear she's having fun discovering the secrets of Choco's camera. Roflmao.

Gasoline. My first time being there.

Plum soda ( if not mistaken ) i shared with dear.

Cheezy white chicken spaghetti? Forgot the long long name. Shared with Ling. Not really nice.

Hah! I caught Dx looking at the camera again.

And then and then, while they're pulling off lame jokes, singing crazy songs, laughing like shit, playing stupid tricks, talking and chatting and god-knows-what-else, we suddenly saw...

Can you see can you see?

Swans! Swans! I can't believe my eyes! I actually thought they were fake! But they're 100% real, alive, breathing, swimming swans! I'm getting hyped up just talking about it. I think it's my first time seeing a real swan. I think.. ?

And nearer... ( This pic looks fake seriously. Love it. )

And nearer...

And nearer! ( No, they didn't actually get so close. I was just zooming in. Shh. =x )

Mummy Swan ( I only called her Mummy Swan because dear insisted this one's a female and the other a male. ) going up to her home sweet home.

At her home sweet home.

Asking Daddy Swan to join her.

Here goes Daddy! And here goes Picture of the Day! Love it so much. Thanks to Choco's high speed camera i manage to capture this while it's flapping it's wings. (:

Was a crazy day. Great fun going out with them, they're hilarious as usual. Thanks. =)

-----

Sometimes, regret is too late.
I just hope everything's worth it.

0 comments.

Outcast.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009,6:46 PM

I was devastated when i heard the news. I was like, rooted to the ground. How unfair life is. How easily life can be taken away. How easily somebody can just go away, forever, and never come back. Maybe some of you had already heard this.

The body of Yoshito Usui, the author of the hugely popular comedic manga and anime called Crayon Shin-chan, was found dead at the bottom of a cliff in Gunma Prefecture on Saturday. It appeared to have been an accident — his backpack full of hiking gear was found about 50 yards away, and it was near a hiking trail with no rails. His camera, found with his belongings, had a photo that looked like it was taken right by the cliff. He was 51. According to his wife, he left the house on the morning of September 11th and never returned.

I just read his newest Crayon Shin-chan not long ago. I didn't know it would be the last.

Rest in Peace, Mr.Yoshito Usui.
Crayon Shin-chan will stay alive within us forever.

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You don't know how much you mean to me.
You don't know how much i appreciate you.
You don't know how important you are to me.
I once told you, and you chose not to believe.
You cast my feelings aside so easily.
I'd always thought that things wouldn't change no matter what.
But i'm wrong.
You don't need me anymore.
*Assuming 'you' being plural.

And as for you, how am i suppose to tell you?
I don't even dare to imagine your reaction.
I'm scared that what you think of me might change.
I'm afraid.

0 comments.

Away.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009,6:45 PM

Didn't blogged yesterday because of insufficient of time. Was one hell of a trip. Early in the morning dad wana go to one of his Malay friend's house, because it's Raya and everything, and all of us aka mum, choco and me went along. Mum wana go to Kuala Selangor for the beach and seafood later too. Reluctantly --because my schedule was messed up-- i went, hoping to at least enjoy or something.

Anyway, reached the Malay's gigantic home and he wasn't in, so we straight away started our journey to Kuala Selangor. And then and then, when we were on the way there, there was a massive traffic jam all the way to Kuala Selangor. Dad refused to go, because he said we will probably reach there in 2 or 3 hours time due to the stupid jam. And he said we should just get some lunch and go home.

I was like, wtf, they ruin my schedule and now they're sending us home without letting us enjoy or something? Plus, i was reading in the car a moment earlier and i got car-sick and felt like puking the entire time. What was my sacrifice for? Choco was car-sick too, and we wouldn't accept this brutal faith, never!

So after lunch in a dirty Bak Kut Teh store with no Bak Kut Teh --it's all sold-- we persuaded dad to bring us to Midvalley. The schedule is already ruined, so why the hell not? But dad refused too, because he said too many cars, can't find parking etc etc. But finally he relented and brought us to 1 Utama. That was my first time going there. And it's humongous. Love the smell of a shopping centre. (:

But of course, our center of attention was given to MPH. Bought books, definitely.

Mine: The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult and Dracula by Bram Stoker ( Love the cover, darn cool. ).

Love the MPH there, seriously. Super organized, books all wrapped up nicely and arranged according to lettering! God, felt really comfortable there. ;D Ah, speaking about God. There was a conversation between us and dad that send me into heaps of laughter.

I don't know why, but at one point in the car i said this:

Oh My God.

Then Dad heard it, and started mumbling and grumbling:

God? God?! God 给你吃东西咩? ( Did God gave you food?! )

I was like, stunned. Roflmao, he was so darn religious and now he said God didn't gave us food. He's insisting that he's the one working so hard for our food and somehow saying Oh My God trigger his annoyance. Me and Choco was laughing like shit. =D

That was practically the whole day. Studied as much as i can to compensate for the day. Slept late. Darn. =/

Okay. Now here's an announcement. It may be good news to you, or bad news, or neutral. I'm not gona use the comp so frequently this month. Reason is, undoubtedly, freakin' 3rd term examination. And it won't be long before you see my Notice that say i'll be MIA for 2 weeks. I hate it seriously. But i really don't have the time. My deepest apologies. =(

P.S. It's really hard for me! I have to give up Bleach temporarily too! D=
P.P.S Not frequently doesn't mean i won't use it okay. I'll blog alternatively maybe. I'll update as much as possible.
P.P.P.S But all the Friendster / Facebook request's might have to wait. I'm so sorry.

0 comments.

"Busy-ness."

Sunday, September 20, 2009,6:16 PM

Today was darn tired and stressful. Had to complete my bc and igcse essay due to choco's 'Finish-homework-first-before-studying' concept. I did the draft for both, what's left is to copy them in the book, which will really take a lot of time and effort. I know it's only copying, but considering the length, i'm praying for my fingers now. But i finally manage to finish planning my schedule, thank God. But that's just planning, i haven't started making it real yet. =X

Friggin' projects which can't seem to be done, friggin' hot water which boiled my hands, friggin' geography which made my throat sore from memorizing, friggin' 舞林大道 that i missed watching, friggin' tuitions that i never seem to love, friggin' jazz that kept getting canceled, friggin' holidays that had me stuck at home, friggin' exam that had me complaining like a maniac. I can't stop complaining. Shit. =(

To cheer myself up, i went looking for some crazy stuffs and i succeeded in finding one that makes me go 'wow'. And i'm sharing it with you guys here! Ever heard of or seen an upside-down waitress before?

Whoa. I didn't know how she can stand being hanged upside-down like that without getting a red face and still can to smile like she's perfectly comfortable there. And she had to pour drinks for customers too. I would die rather than get that job. Crazy people around the world. But still it's amazing. (:

-----

Has it ever occurred to you that i might want to take a step back?
Did you ever think before that i might wana step away?
My brain and my heart are having this major disagreement right now.
Brain says run. Heart says stay.
I don't wana run away, but my legs seems to be moving on its own.
It's an instinct.

Even animals, kid and babies know this:

Run away from anything that might hurt you.
Escape, and you will be safe.

0 comments.

Tears.

Saturday, September 19, 2009,2:28 PM

Holiday sucks. Seriously. All i do is stare at the text book. And i'm bored like shit. And i cannot use the freakin' computer twice. And i have to give up watching Boys Over Flowers. And i cannot go shopping. And i have to attend tuitions. And i cannot seem to finish the maths homework. And countless of things. Okay, actually it's not that bad. I'm half-exaggerating. (:

Gotta tuition in about, few hours time. Yikes, bc again. Sorry to say but i don't really have stuffs to update these days. You're probably gona read about exam exam exam study study study bored bored bored dozens of time. To compensate for the lack of updates, i shall update some strange pictures. =P

For me, there's some eerie, creepy feel for some of those pics, others are amazing where i would do a double-take at it and smile. (:

P.S. I didn't watch Bleach for 2 days already. Darn, i miss Bleach!

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Do you know that it hurts when you said that?
You may said it out of humour, but it hurts because deep down i know it's the truth.
At that moment, i wanted to scream at you.
I wanted to shout at you and say that what you said about me can be applied on yourself, too.
But i didn't.
I didn't because i didn't want you to go through this feeling.
This feeling that the sadness too great can destroy you within seconds.
This feeling that you need to build a wall around yourself, making yourself numb from reality, telling yourself 'I don't care' when it's so obvious that you're lying.
This feeling that you lay crumpled by fear, scared and alone.

You judge me even before i finish saying what i was saying.
You made an assumption even before you know what had actually happened.
I wanted to tell you. Really, i wanted to tell you so much.
But i didn't. I had to force my words back.
I had to. Because i didn't want to ruin anything anymore.

Anxiety choked me. I can't sleep. I can't breathe.
I can't do anything except to cry.
I cried to the point that my eyes aches along with my heart.
I cried to the point that there's no more tears left for me to cry.
But you did not know.
Even if you knew, you wouldn't care, would you?
You wouldn't give a damn.

0 comments.