when you wish upon a star;

This weblog does not represent the thoughts, intentions, plans or strategies of anyone else.
It is solely my opinion.
Feel free to challenge me, disagree with me, or tell me I’m completely nuts in the comments section of each blog entry or my chat box, but I reserve the right to delete any comment or ban any person for any reason whatsoever (abusive, profane, rude, or anonymous comments) - so keep it polite, please.
Just in case.
If I say something stupid in the future, it’s better to be able to point out that the stupidity is mine, and mine alone.
My stupidity! You can’t have it! :)

Note: I do not take credit for the pictures i post unless i stamp my blogspot on it, thank you.

Gah.

Saturday, June 25, 2011,1:16 AM

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Before i begin, there's one thing that i MUST share with all of you. Click here! I saw this video, it's about this 22 year old guy, he was a gangster all his life but he changed because.. hah i wouldn't want to spoil you. This video is 40 minutes long, but trust me, it's worth every second of your life to watch the whole thing. (it's in chinese though) When i first looked at the duration i was like wtf..but when i clicked play i was so transfixed i watch the whole thing, cried the whole way. It's too meaningful, watch it! I demand you to CLICK HERE.

I'm stressed. Technically one week of the exam is over, but the truth is the REAL exam starts next week. It would be the worst week in my whole secondary life because this time my preparation is not enough. Nobody bothered to believe me when i said this but.. well who cares, you'll know when the results are out. I am stressed from head to toe wtf, addmaths phy chem bio bc, i can die! This week's exam were still ok but next week will be doomsday.

For once, i just hope that people would STOP pressuring me about my results. STOP saying that i can score, STOP saying that i don't need to study, STOP putting such high expectations on me. You are not standing in my shoes, you would not know how heavy these words are on my shoulder to the point that i cannot breathe. You say it like it's easy but it's not. You say it like it's absolute that i can do it but i can't. I would hate to see questioning faces when the results are out, so for God's sake, just stop already.

This is to myself: I don't have to prove to anyone. So i should just ignore the comments now and the questions that will come after.

Labels: i

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contemplation.

Monday, June 20, 2011,11:25 PM

differences in experience and background will spark judgemental opinions. though they might sound vindictive, this discrepancy is not to be blamed. repeat, not to be blamed. roger that.

damn, my conscience is killing me. can't this debate in my head just reach the verdict already?

via blackberry.

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Saturday, June 18, 2011,12:22 AM

the moment when you cover your face with a pillow and scream your lungs out, until every last bit of energy is drained from you, until you have no voice left, until every last line of tears stop falling, until the silence is so intense to the point that the only sound you can hear comes from your breaking heart.

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失望透了.

Friday, June 17, 2011,9:57 PM

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Sadly saying, no i'm not dead yet. Been trying to study my head off but without success. I cannot seem to study because i doze off every 10 minutes and wake up half an hour later. I haven't completed studying all the chapters, and look at what i'm doing now? So disappointed at myself ): I don't know where did that determined version of myself went, because i cannot seem to get rid of the laziness. I convinced myself that i'm tired/sleepy but probably i'm not.

And i cannot divide myself between studying for exams and dance practices for the performance sigh. This is a dilemma damnit. Truthfully saying, i'm bracing for below average results. I just wish people would stop telling me that i don't have to study to score or that i will score no matter what, because they don't understand how much stress those words bring. About to collapse any moment.

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come on just admit it, you forgot.
what's the big deal?
i get that all the time.

"oh sorry, i forgot that i only exist when you need something."

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Madness.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011,12:05 AM

for the first time i'm blogging with my whiteberry. i have no idea why i can't use caps lock. but that's not the point.

the point is: this fucking stress. i'm so mentally and physically exhausted i can die. shoot me now.

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);

Sunday, June 12, 2011,12:17 AM

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Darkness is not the absence of light; it's the absence of you.

What is love?

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within
your chest?
It isn't love, it's like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
It isn't love, it's lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't love, it's pride.

Do you want them because you know they're there?
It isn't love, it's loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't love, it's loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't love, it's low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt
them?
It isn't love, it's pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't love, it's infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn't love, it's friendship.

Do you tell them every day that they are the only one you think of?
It isn't love, it's a lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn't love, it's charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Then it's l o v e.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Then it's l o v e.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's l o v e.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and
relation pulls you close and holds you there?
Then it's l o v e.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
Then it's l o v e.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?

- by Nicole Tran.

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HongKong, Day 4 & 5.

Friday, June 10, 2011,11:18 PM

3rd June 2011.

For the fourth day, we leave HK and went to Macau by ferry. The seat on the ferry was even bigger and more comfortable than AirAsia's, for God's sake. -_- Anyway, when you think about Macau i guess you will first think about casinos, because Macau is famous for gambling. At night when we went to have a walk at the streets, casinos and pawn shops were everywhere. So it's like, they're encouraging people to loan off their personal belongings for gambling. This is a society that i fail to comprehend. Gambling, prostitution etc.. if you have money, you can have anything there. I don't like the way that works.

Scratch that, let's talk about our morning. We were still at HK and had some chinese breakfast again. Isn't this couple adorable? (:

Yes! The theme for the day was I <3 HK. We bought the shirt the day before at Ladies Market. We were at the toilet at the port where we took a ferry to Macau.

On the bus, by this time we were at Macau already. Trying to camwhore with a DSLR.. pfft this was the only pic that looked decent enough. Why in the world did i lose that canon cybershot T_T

A-ma Temple (妈阁庙) at Macau, boring. Dad loves it though i guess.

They are so cute! That tree is the 百年夫妻树, directly translated as the 100-year spouse tree. LOL. I really have no idea what's it called in English sorry.

Next we visited the Ruins of St.Paul's, which is the typical Macau logo. The tour guide mentioned history which i never bother to listen. Mostly because i can't wait to go home the next day.

And we went to Wynn Resort to see this Amazing Wisdom Tree. It's..uh. A tree. That came up from underground (the roof opened and the chandelier came down at the same time) and the leaves change colour. Technically the lights changed colour. It was.. okay i guess?

And of course we went to a casino. I mean, not exactly in the casino because i'm underage right, but we went to the Venetian Casino, i guess it's quite popular in Macau. And it's a huge shopping center with thousands of branded outlets. So damn expensive okay.

The shops were cute though, that's a man-made "sky". The place had a man-made "river" because they wanted to imitate Venice.

Everything was grand. Even the toilet was like zomgwow.

Also we went to the boring Fisherman Wharf (渔人码头), passed by the enormous statue of GuanYin, bought biscuits at a local shop.. blabla. It was boring. At night we checked in to the hotel and it was way smaller, i preferred our sexy hotel at HK sigh. Oh i need to mention a random fact. HK/Macau people loves to walk. I mean, they walk all the time, they can walk for 15-20 minutes to a destination when i would gladly take a cab instead. No wonder Malaysia's obesity rate went way overboard.

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4th June 2011.

The last day of our vacation! I'm glad that we're going home because i miss Fluffy so much i want to cry. Our breakfast was a buffet at our hotel.

This is the name of the restaurant in the hotel. Vasco da Gama, sounds familiar? Haha somehow Macau's history was related to the Portuguese.

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Thank God no more chinese meals, finally had some decent breakfast. The buffet was awesome, i guess because i missed Western food so much already.

Say goodbye to HK! (:

*exhales* Finally i finished blogging about the whole HK trip. I'm kinda addicted going overseas now, i hope we go to Europe countries next heh. Anyway, 2nd term examination is coming in a week's time, and i'm so dead this time. Did not touch books for the whole week in HK, and now i don't have enough time T_T i regretted not studying earlier..(this sentence sound so familiar in my head wtf)

Not to mention that i still have a performance coming up at the 2nd of July, right after the exams. What to do, i have to split my time between going for rehearsals and studying. I would gladly choose dancing over books of course, but the stress damnit the stress! I'm not a freaking prodigy, i don't ace my subjects all the time. And i'm sure i'll not ace it all this term. Then i'll have to face all the questions and disappointment! I hope people would stop putting such high expectations on me. Sigh.

Will be blogging lesser this month, my sincere apologies. Yours tragically.

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HongKong, Day 3.

Thursday, June 9, 2011,11:19 PM

2nd June 2011.

For the third day at HK, we went to Ocean Park aka 海洋公园. I anticipated this because well..i always heard about this place from HK dramas. Dad and mum once came here when mum was pregnant with me. And they actually went on some water ride, the one where you sit on the boat and get splashed by water blabla, it's those kinda-exciting type. And i believe that the foetus version of me couldn't stand the shock, therefore i was born short. This must be the reason damnit.

Before we take off, tank tops for the day because the weather was as usual, zomgwtf hot.

Hello Ocean Park! ((:

We need to get over two ginormous mountains to the other part of Ocean Park, and we took the cable car. The cable car seemed precarious and i was scared shit. Like, it was so far off from the ground what if it crashes? But apparently we still have the mood to camwhore heh.

My new Facebook profile picture lol.

We reached just in time for the dolphin show in Ocean Theater. The dolphins were very adorable and they definitely have genius IQ, i hope i had the chance to touch them ): I "sold" my fake LV shades here hahaha.

There were quite a lot of exhilarating rides, but we chose the softcore ones because we're old people and we cannot stand the excitement wtf. Dad snapped this picture and i love it! We were on the swinging chair.

100 HK dollars wow. (It only worth RM39 actually) Had lunch at some chinese restaurant because dad always eat chinese food. Boring.

Can you spot that adorable hammerhead shark plushie on the upper left side?! I have this newly grown affection for hammerhead sharks i don't know why omg.

These beautiful trees are everywhere in HK!

And then we went to see animals. Isn't this firefox adorable? Wanna bring it home ;)

Panda! So cute rawr. But I wonder what are pandas doing in Ocean Park, it's just plain weird it doesn't even match the theme.

Loner panda. What a picture! ( Oh did i mention, all the pics are from Hime's DSLR, so she's the one who took all the pics. Yes she has photography talents, i just arrogantly stamped my blogspot on the pics because (a) i wanna claim the pics and (b) promoting my new blogspot thank you. )

Went to the Grand Aquarium to look at hammerhead sharks. Uh okay i mean fishes.

*shrieks* A gigantic hammerhead shark plushie! I'm so in love with it. But damn, i regretted not buying it T_T it was kinda expensive.. but i want it right now grr.

You tell me, aren't these cute? Can you see the army of fat little hammerhead sharks behind?! *emphasizes* Ohmygoodness. I wanted them but it's costly sigh.

Leaved the souvenir shop reluctantly (bought some stuffs of course) and had some light food.

We left Ocean Park at around 5.30pm, and went for our optional tour. The first place we visited was Madame Tussauds (杜莎蜡像馆), it was located inside a shopping center named The Peak if not mistaken.

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And of course, Madame Tussauds = wax figures! Saw a lot of celebrities, politicians, musicians, scientists, painters etc. Went crazy when i saw Beckham. But sadly they don't have Chace Crawford T_T

And this was supposed to be a breathtaking view if not for the heavy fog that day.

*laughs* Okay this is random but isn't this amusing? Is it even legal to do that -_- Saw this car when we were on our way to the Avenue of Star (星光大道) to watch laser shows which was pretty lame.

And then we went to Ladies Market (女人街), a popular shopping place in HK. It's a HK version of Petaling Street, if you get what i mean. Bought some authentic shoes in the sport shoes street though. It's not a part of Ladies Market so the shoes are genuine lah :P

Went home feeling exhausted, i think we had maggie for supper again. The annoying thing about instant noodles in HK is that there weren't any forks in the cup. Like seriously, what do they eat the noodles with? And because of this mum "took" some plastic spoons/forks back from Disneyland when we had lunch that day. Laugh out loud.

Day 3 was fun and satisfying because of the various purchases and money spent. I guess day 4 & 5 will be compiled into one post instead of two because it's shorter. Still, stay tuned okay. (:

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HongKong, Day 2.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011,9:47 PM

Yeap i finally got time to blog about Disneyland, not gonna waste time saying nonsense because the post is quite long. Enjoy! (:

1st June 2011.

Woke up in the morning in our sexy hotel pumped with adrenaline and anticipation, because goddamn, we're going to Disneyland! It's kinda the main reason for this trip to HK. Oh, and i shall mention that surprisingly, i had a really good sleep. I never liked sleeping in hotels but this one is awesome. Thank God we'll be in this hotel for 3 days. (:

Of course we took full advantage of the full length mirror, you don't get those everyday right.

We had dimsum for breakfast at the hotel, it was okay i guess.. And yes if you look closely i was holding my blackberry hoping for chances to steal some wi-fi connection. ;)

And this is something major that i need to mention. Seriously i wonder, what's with HK people and corn?! We got served corn soup the day before and we got corn porridge today. Wtf. I hate corn soup, and it's not just the average dislike. Had this phobia for corn soup ever since i ate some horrible stuff at China a few years back. Well i adore popcorn and corn-in-a-cup, but when you mix corn with soup/porridge it is not edible. Totally. I wished we had some decent soup instead T_T

That ruined my image for HK people haha. Anyway after the breakfast we set off for Disneyland! *hyped up* Well i know HK's Disneyland will not be as grand as Japan/France/etc's but who cares, i looked forward to it anyway, especially the mascots. ;P

There you go, the entrance of HK Disneyland. (:

We had a rest (?) at the entrance, and tried figuring out about the show timetables/maps/directories. The weather was so freaking hot it killed some of my mood.

And we finally hauled our asses inside Disneyland. The street was beautiful, the buildings were so adorable it's like we were walking into this realm of fantasy and it's really out-of-the-word. I wish we had real-life buildings like that in Malaysia. ):

Chilling at the shops because we were dying for air-con. Saw a lot of adorable stuffs! I would have bought them all if not for the outrageous price. D:

Walked on and finally we saw Tinkerbell's castle. Was amazed. Disney came to life omg.

Took lotsa pictures with the symbolical castle. It was so gorgeous and dreamy i wana cry T_T

Next we went to Adventure Land to check out Tarzan's Tree House, the one in the picture. It was very well-designed, took a boat to cross the river.

The tree house was designed to fit Tarzan's story, there was the figure of the cheetah, Tarzan, Jane, the Gorilla (?) that took care of Tarzan. It relived my childhood memories and made me want to watch Tarzan all over again! ( And so yesterday Hime and I bought the classic Tarzan CD because we were craving for it hahaha. )

Then we went to watch The Lion King's Festival. It wasn't so bad. =)

But of course, nothing is ever perfect because something tragic happened in Adventure Land. For this vacation we brought Hime's new DSLR and her old Canon cybershot along. (Of course we did not bring my lame Nikon. ) Okay guess what. Bingo, I lost the Canon cybershot. Tragic much? I left it in the ladies and did not realize that. When we realize it's lost we ran back to check the toilet cubicles but of course it's too late. Well what do you expect, there were thousands of tourists from China there, it's not like they will be kind enough to hand in the camera right.

We even went to check out the lost and found corner but they didn't have the camera, sadly. Well for whoever who took the adorable baby blue camera i hope karma gets you T_T Because now i am stuck with my lame camera and i don't think mum will buy me a new one any sooner since i was the one who lost it. Grrr. Thank goodness it's not the DSLR. o_o

Anyway, forget about that, we went to Fantasy Land searching for mascots. You have to line up to take picture with them. We didn't have anything else to do anyway so we queued up. It was worth it because i LOVE Disney mascots!

My favourite picture. Aww why the hell is Pooh so cute? He was munching on his hand. *shrieks*

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And we took pictures with Minnie (the longest queue) and Mickey and Goofy (shut up i know i'm short) and the very adorable Duffy! (: I combined the pictures or else my post would be too heavy with pics, apologies.

Mad hatter tea cups, it's the spinning cup thing. Did not ride on it because we don't wana risk puking.

Yeap the four of us went to this Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and we rode on Honeypots, (yes imagine dad in the honeypot hahaha) and viewed a 3D Pooh story. It was cute, not posting the pics because it's all blurred, you'll have to see it for yourself! ;)

Hime and I went on the Cinderella Carousel. I adore carousels, they're so beautiful and elegant.

This place is called 'It's a small world'. Basically you ride on boats and look at things like.. (see below)

These. It was really amazing, they have all these cute moving things, and the theme was really meaningful. They showed different cultures and races from all over the world. It's a small world indeed. =)

And we went to see the show of the Golden Mickeys. It was crazy how they changed the background/scene in such a short amount of time. Wonderful!

Next we checked out Tomorrow Land, went on a Stitch roller coaster ride (it was so dark you cannot see a thing but it was one hell of a ride) and some lame Toy Story Buzz ride. Haha actually i'm just simply renaming these stuffs because i can't remember.

Went to the shops to buy some expensive T-shirts while we wait for the fireworks to begin.

Me and our purchases. I looked lethargic, and i really was. Can't believe we spent the whole day in Disneyland.

Finally we're back in the hotel, had HK's maggie mee and milo for supper again. Continued watching our HK drama too *laughs*

And that concludes Disneyland. It was really fun, minus the part about the lost camera. The food/souvenirs were overpriced though, so we didn't buy anything much. ): I want to go to France's Disneyland next. Heh. Okay my job is done for today, stay tuned for Day 3!

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Everything tasted bitter.
There was that bit of saltiness too...

委屈；无言.

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