I was so numb. I eat, talk, sleep, walk like a robot, in a perfunctory way. I couldn't feel anything, couldn't think. And then, without bracing for it, the wave of truth suddenly hits me as hard as a tsunami, and i couldn't stop the tears at all. But just as sudden as it arrived, it was gone before i knew it. It disappeared within a second and i fall back to dissociation. I'm terrified of myself. What did i do? What happened? Where should i go? I was so confused, i couldn't make decisions for myself. But my inner voice told me: "You've done right, this is the best solution. This is the only way. Everything will be alright." I listened to the voice, because it was never wrong and i have always trusted it.
I cross my fingers, and i pray.
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